Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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