Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
This is the high leading the old right now
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
