Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
only if we run a train.
done.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
