# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
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