I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Randomize