Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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