Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Actions speak louder than pants.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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