Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Slut skills are useful in every country.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Randomize