what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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