at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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