Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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