So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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