last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
