the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
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