Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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