Well apparently he's into motor boating.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
