i permit you to call me
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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