I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
