just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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