So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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