garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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