I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
