I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
