My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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