finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
FUCK WHALES
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
