Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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