How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Randomize
