youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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