She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
