i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
