I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True strength comes from lack of pants
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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