I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
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thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
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I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that