Texts From Last Night

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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?

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  (973): I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now? http://tfl.nu/r8kl
  Replies (12) Good night (2457) Bad night (421) Order T-Shirt
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.

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  (248): apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave. http://tfl.nu/lqnh
  Replies (4) Good night (2877) Bad night (891) Order T-Shirt
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.

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  (920): Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later. http://tfl.nu/9vwo
  Replies (4) Good night (2065) Bad night (521) Order T-Shirt
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.

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  (309): just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping. http://tfl.nu/3wmp
  Replies (17) Good night (3202) Bad night (771) Order T-Shirt
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.

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  (440): he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went. http://tfl.nu/izjf
  Replies (37) Good night (1165) Bad night (5662) Order T-Shirt
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.

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  (443): Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit. http://tfl.nu/mbv0
  Replies (8) Good night (4532) Bad night (834) Order T-Shirt
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  (386): View more from Florida

  The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance

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  (386): The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance http://tfl.nu/iqmo
  Replies (17) Good night (5196) Bad night (1356)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.

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  (860): i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis. http://tfl.nu/7xur
  Replies (31) Good night (5976) Bad night (923) Order T-Shirt
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.

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  (970): I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently. http://tfl.nu/qjfh
  Replies (2) Good night (2435) Bad night (667) Order T-Shirt
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.

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  (803): She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD. http://tfl.nu/b7tw
  Replies (13) Good night (1245) Bad night (2870) Order T-Shirt
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game

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  (919): she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game http://tfl.nu/obaf
  Replies (11) Good night (3037) Bad night (814) Order T-Shirt
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  (760): View more from California

  I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?

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  (760): I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways? http://tfl.nu/qqdu
  Replies (12) Good night (4350) Bad night (512) Order T-Shirt
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.

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  (905): Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass. http://tfl.nu/tco3
  Replies (9) Good night (4200) Bad night (487) Order T-Shirt
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed

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  (540): my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed http://tfl.nu/1r9l
  Replies (25) Good night (1702) Bad night (792) Order T-Shirt
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.

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  (785): DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS. http://tfl.nu/jicq
  Replies (14) Good night (899) Bad night (303) Order T-Shirt

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