I just saw a hot homeless man
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
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