I accidentally burped into my bong.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
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