Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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