Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
