yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
