he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Actions speak louder than pants.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
