office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
