this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
