i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
