Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
