I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
