they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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