don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
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