I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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