sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
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