You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
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First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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