Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
