Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
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