my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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