I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
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