I am spending my child support on dildos
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize
