I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I'm at about main and main street
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
