also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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