Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
That accounts for only three of the penises
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
