I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
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